whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
