What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
whose parrot is this?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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