I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
