I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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