I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
