do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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