Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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