I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
i now understand why vodka
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
