i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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