i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
