next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
