so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
