we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
