just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
