The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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