it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
