another moral hangover. fuck.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
