i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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