Pappa wants mamma naked
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I have feelings that need drinking.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
