they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
