Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
