I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Of course I have a pirate flag
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
