Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
