I want to stick my p in your. b.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
