You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
