Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
