??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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