Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
