Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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