I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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