how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
