I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
