my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
