i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
