Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
