ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
