Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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