his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
