im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
