I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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