I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Rumble strips road head = magical
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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