i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
