ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
