How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i would one night stand the shit outta him
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize