doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
