one might say we're banned from that church
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
