Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She's the barista slut.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize