Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
