he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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