i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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