i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
