The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
