she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
