well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
