Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
