you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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