your thong is hanging out like whoa
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
