Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
