We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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