Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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