so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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