it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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